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😭🤑😀 When you or your partner works nights, it can be hard to find time for a quick meal together, let alone romance and intimacy. How do you maintain a happy and healthy relationship when one of you is working odd hours? Fortunately, it's still possible to keep the romance alive. Keep reading to learn how to have a strong relationship even when one works the night shift.

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Plan creative dates around your schedule.

  1. There’s plenty you can do during the odd hours when you’re both awake. Since whoever works nights will want to catch up on sleep during the day, you’ll have to find dates for the early morning or late afternoon. Look over your schedules and pick a time when you’re both awake and available to get together.[2] Some fun and creative date ideas you could try include:
    • Watching the sunrise together
    • Taking an afternoon trip to a museum
    • Catching a matinee at the movie theater
    • Enjoying a meal together before or after the shift
    • Hitting the gym for an early or late workout session

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Prioritize time for intimacy.

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Send texts to each other throughout your shifts.

  1. Checking in helps your partner feel connected in the relationship. Try to send your partner a loving message when you have a chance. Keep them updated on your day and ask how they’re doing so they know that you care. Even if they don’t have time to reply, they’ll appreciate you checking in whether they’re at work or waiting for you to get home from your shift.
    • "Hey you ❤️ just woke up and I’m missing you! Hope your shift has been easy so far 😘"
    • "I’m just about to go to bed, but I wanted to say goodnight and have fun at work! I’ll be dreaming of you 😉"
    • "I hope you’ve been sleeping well. Work has been crazy, but it’s made the night go fast. I can’t wait to see you in the morning!"
    • You can even send an especially sexy or romantic message to really turn up the heat.[5]

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Leave each other love notes.

  1. Occasional love notes keep the spark alive and bring you closer together. Even if it seems old-fashioned, a short and sweet love letter gives your partner something to read and remember you by for the whole day. If your partner is leaving for a shift, pack a small note in their lunchbox or set it near their keys. If you’re the one working at night, leave a note on a bedside table or another place your partner will see it when they wake up.[6]
    • "Just a little reminder that you’re amazing and I love you!"
    • "Go make it a great day at work! I’m rooting for you!"
    • "Good morning! I can’t wait to see you when you get home!"
    • Feel free to leave long love letters, too! When your partner gets home, read it out loud and share all the different ways you appreciate and love them.[7]
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Plan a vacation together.

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Talk with your partner if you’re still struggling.

  1. Be honest with your partner so they know how you’re feeling. If it still feels like you’re having trouble connecting or balancing your time together, sit down and have a conversation about what’s going on. Use "I" statements to focus on your emotions so it doesn’t feel like you’re blaming them. Once they hear how you’re feeling, you can brainstorm or ask for ways to make it work together.[12]
    • "I start to feel lonely when you leave for work at night without saying goodbye. I know you don’t want to wake me up, so is there another way you could tell me before you go?"
    • "I feel like we haven’t had a lot of time to focus on us lately. Can we carve out a weekend just for us so we can reconnect a little?"
    • "I’ve felt that there’s been some distance growing between us over the past couple of weeks. Has something changed at work that we should talk about?"
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      References

      1. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-you-can-sleep-better-if-you-work-the-night-shift/
      2. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      3. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/5-keys-to-keeping-love-alive-through-the-graveyard-shift-0128155
      4. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      5. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      6. https://www.inc.com/drew-hendricks/5-hacks-for-making-it-work-when-you-have-opposite-shifts-as-your-spouse.html
      7. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      8. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      9. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.

      About This Article

      Co-authored by:
      Relationship Coach
      This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. This article has been viewed 1,629 times.
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      Co-authors: 5
      Updated: May 29, 2022
      Views: 1,629
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,629 times.

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