🤬🤤🤫 This article was co-authored by Connell Barrett and by wikiHow staff writer, Eric McClure. Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation, his own relationship consulting business founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on his A.C.E. Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expressiveness. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Oprah Magazine, and Today.
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🤬🤤🤫 Whether it's your first time or you're just looking for tips to improve your kissing game, you might be wondering what the best way to kiss a girl is. Where do you put your hands? Tongue or no tongue? How do you make the kiss as memorable and enjoyable for her as possible? Don't worry—we've gathered all of the best kissing tricks and advice you'll ever need right here. With a little flirting and some easy techniques, your next kiss will sweep a girl straight off her feet.
Part 1Part 1 of 4:Flirting and Getting Consent
- 1Drop hints that you like a girl by giving her compliments. To see if a girl is interested in kissing you, give her compliments to send the message that you like her. Casually say something nice about her hair, outfit, or style. Include compliments about her personality or intellect so that you don’t come off as materialistic.XResearch source
- Say, "I really like the way that outfit matches your eyes," or, "You have the cutest haircut."
- Include compliments about her personality. For example, "I love your laugh," and "You’re so smart," are excellent, simple compliments that you can use.
- Try to compliment things that relate to her specifically. Saying that she lives in a nice house, for example, isn’t going to get you anywhere.
- Try to compliment a girl when you’re spending time with her alone. If you’re with a group of people, they may poke fun at you for trying to flirt.
- 2Make eye contact and smile at her. When you lock eyes with her, don’t divert your gaze like you’re ashamed or scared of her. Instead, keep your eyes on her and crack a slight smile without showing your teeth. Making eye contact and smiling are two of the easiest ways to send subtle messages that you’re interested in someone.XResearch source
- If it turns out she doesn’t like you back, you can always play it off like the eye contact and smiling were simply you being nice.
- Making eye contact is a sign of confidence.
- Don’t stare for more than 4-5 seconds. Aggressive staring can come off as creepy if you do it for too long.
- 3Read her body language to see how she responds to flirting. If she smiles back, maintains eye contact, and turns away while smiling, she’s probably interested in you. If she furrows her eyebrows, turns away without smiling, or simply doesn’t respond, she probably doesn’t want to kiss. Pay attention to her body language—especially in the moments leading up to a potential smooch.XResearch source
🤬🤤🤫 Tip: If she is carrying a purse or backpack, pay attention to how she holds or carries it. If she holds firmly on to it while talking to you, it could be a sign that she’s a little scared or nervous and doesn’t really feel comfortable around you yet. Consider leaving her alone and trying to strike up a conversation later.
- 4Test the waters by holding her hand or wrapping your arm around her. When you’re alone with her, try casually brushing your hand against hers to see how she responds. If her fingers open up, try holding her hand. If hand holding seems like too much, lean up against her while you’re walking. If she doesn’t shy away, try throwing your arm around her.XResearch source
EXPERT TIPConnell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation, his own relationship consulting business founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on his A.C.E. Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expressiveness. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Oprah Magazine, and Today.
- If she cuddles her way under your arm or holds your hand, continue walking for a little so that you don’t seem too eager.
- Another common way to test the mood is to try and brush her hair back. While this move certainly looks good in the movies, it can be kind of risky. She may think you’re reaching for her face and turn away.
- Hand holding is a more concrete sign she is ready for a kiss than the shoulder move is, but trying to wrap your arm around her requires less of a risk. Choose a move based on how confident you feel.
🤬🤤🤫 Connell BarrettDating CoachConnell Barrett
🤬🤤🤫 Our Expert Agrees: You can notice a window of opportunity in many different moments. For instance, you might notice that the other person is making deep eye contact with you, or that they're leaning close to you and their body language matches yours. When that moment comes up, it's probably a good time for a kiss.
- 5Get consent by asking if you can kiss her. Don’t steal a kiss. Instead, ask if you can kiss her. You can be incredibly direct and simply say, "Can I kiss you?" You can also opt for a more romantic tone and say something like, "I’d love nothing more than to kiss you right now," or, "You’re so beautiful. I could kiss you right now."XResearch source
- If she kisses you first, don’t stop her to ask for her consent. You already have it.
- Throw in a breath mint or a piece of gum a few minutes before asking her to kiss you to ensure that your breath isn’t nasty.
- Once you have consent, don’t waste your time. Turn to face her and get ready!
Part 2Part 2 of 4:Initiating a Kiss
- 1Hold her hand or wrap your arms around her. If you were holding her hand or already had your arm around her, leave it there as you turn to face her. If you weren’t holding her, quickly check to see where her hands are. if she’s got them in front of her, reach out to hold her hands. If they’re at her side, wrap your arms around her waist so that you’re hugging her.XResearch source
- If you’re not comfortable holding her hand or wrapping your arms around her, consider putting your hands on her shoulders. This is a good middle ground between a full embrace and standing still.
- Unless it’s a playful, quick smooch, don’t put your arms down to your sides. It will make you seem like you’re not emotionally invested in the kiss.
- 2Relax your lips and don’t "pucker up." There’s nothing cute about pushing your lips out and pursing them together. Keep your lips flexible as you’re initiating a kiss by keeping your facial muscles relaxed. Nobody wants to kiss stiff, hard lips.XResearch source
- Keep your mouth closed. You kiss with lips, not teeth!
🤬🤤🤫 Tip: It’s okay to pucker your lips together for a quick kiss on a cheek, but avoid doing this when you’re kissing a girl on the lips.
- 3Lean in closer and turn your head a little. As you lean in for the kiss, pay attention to how the girl is angling her head. Tilt your head in the opposite direction to prevent squishing into her nose as you kiss her. Keep your head slanted so that your nose will brush right against her cheek.XResearch source
- Avoid jerking movements and try to be smooth as you do this. It should be a subtle, simple motion.
- Lean in with your whole body. Don’t stick your head out like you’re scared of her!
- Don’t turn your head so far that your lips are going to make a cross.
Part 3Part 3 of 4:Locking Lips
- 1Close your eyes just as you’re about to make contact with her lips. Once you’re 2–4 inches (5.1–10.2 cm) away from her lips, begin to slowly close your eyes. Closing your eyes while kissing is a sign that you’re comfortable with surrendering to the moment. Keep them closed throughout the duration of the kiss.XResearch source
- Keeping your eyes open while kissing is a bad idea. It can look kind of creepy and is considered to be a beginner mistake.
- Smile a little as you’re leaning in to let her know that you’re happy about kissing her.
- 2Hold your lips to hers for 1-4 seconds. Press your lips into her lips without pushing her or shoving your nose into her face. Apply light pressure and embrace her by pulling her closer. Kiss her for 1-4 seconds before moving back with your lips still on hers to give her a moment to catch her breath or adjust her position. Keep your lips soft as you kiss. Relax your facial muscles and don’t push your lips out as you make contact with her lips.XResearch source
- To pull her closer, try moving your hands around her back and leaning into her.
- Don’t shove your tongue down her throat. Keep your tongue behind your teeth.
- 3Release your lips for a second and read her body language before kissing her again. Once you’ve leaned back a little bit, check her body language. If she’s starting to pull away, it is a sign that she is done kissing for now. If she leans in further, it is a sign that she is comfortable and you can continue to kiss her.XResearch source
🤬🤤🤫 Tip: If she’s done kissing for now, don’t pressure her into continuing to kiss. Instead, play it off by smiling at her and continuing to talk about whatever you were discussing before the kiss. This will make the kiss feel natural and make you seem confident.
- 4Alternate the side that your head is on after multiple kisses. After 20-30 seconds of kissing, switch the angle that you’re kissing her from. If your nose is resting on her right cheek, lean back for a second and swap it to the left. This will add a little variation and give her neck a break from leaning in one direction for too long.
- You don’t have to switch sides if you don’t want to, but your neck will get sore after a minute or so, especially if she’s shorter than you and you have to lean down to kiss her.
Part 4Part 4 of 4:Using Different Styles
- 1Give her a quick peck on the cheek as a simple sign of affection. If locking lips seems like too much of a commitment, try kissing a girl by giving her a quick peck. Turn your head away from her lips and purse your lips together so that your teeth aren’t showing. Lean into her cheek and give her a quick kiss to show some affection.
- Always get consent first, even for a simple peck on the cheek.
- 2Lift her off of the ground as you kiss her to be more romantic. While kissing her, if you’re confident that you can lift her off of the ground, wrap your arms around her waist and lift her up while keeping your lips against her. This is a classic romantic gesture and will show her that you’re really attracted to her and enjoying the kiss.XResearch source
- If she resists in any way, don’t try to keep lifting her up. Some girls don’t like being lifted off of the floor.
- 3Try French kissing after you’re comfortable with one another. Once you’ve gotten used to kissing one another, you can start to make out. While kissing, run the very tip of your tongue over her lower lip a few times. If she opens her mouth a bit more, then she may be interested. Introduce your tongue slowly and once your tongues are touching, move your tongue slowly around her mouth.XResearch source
- Don’t overdo it with the French kissing if you have a lot of saliva built up in your mouth.
- Take breaks! It can be hard to breathe if you’re mouths are locked in a French kiss for more than 10-20 seconds.
🤬🤤🤫 Tip: Don’t shove your tongue down her throat without warning. This is a terrible idea and will freak her out.
- QuestionHow will I know when my girlfriend wants to kiss me?Community AnswerShe might be expecting a kiss if she lingers when saying goodbye, moves in close to your face, or places her hand around your shoulders. Lock eyes and move in slowly so she has time to pull away if she wants to. There's also nothing wrong with asking.
- QuestionIs it normal for a teen to want a kiss?Community AnswerMany teens feel a strong desire to kiss their crushes, and many others are not comfortable with the idea yet. There's nothing wrong with either group.
- QuestionWhat if she doesn't want to kiss me?Community AnswerNever try to kiss, hug, or touch someone who doesn't want you to. Respect other people's personal space. If she's turned you down once, it's usually not worth asking again.
- QuestionHow old do you have to be to kiss someone?Community AnswerDifferent people become comfortable with kissing at different ages. If you think you might be too young, take things slow and ask the girl if she wants to be kissed before you try.
- QuestionI'm 13 and I want to kiss an 11-year-old. Is that okay?Community AnswerKids go through a lot of changes in those two years. It's usually best for teens to choose other teens no more than a year, maybe two apart.
About This Article
If you want to kiss a girl, it’s important to make sure she’s interested, first. When you’re hanging out with her, try giving her some flirty compliments to see how she responds. For instance, you might say something like, “You have such a gorgeous smile,” or “I can’t get over how smart and funny you are.” You can also show interest by smiling at her, making eye contact, or even trying some light physical touch, like putting your hand on her arm when you’re talking to her. If she smiles back, leans in close, or responds with flirting and compliments of her own, she may be into you. Before you try kissing her, make sure she’s cool with it by asking for her consent. Say something like, “Is it okay if I kiss you?” or “I’d love to kiss you right now.” If she says it’s okay, warm up by holding her hands, putting your arms around her, or gently caressing her face. Make eye contact, relax your lips, and slowly lean in. As you get close, close your eyes and tilt your head to one side a little so you don’t bump your nose into hers. Then, gently press your lips against hers and hold the kiss for 1-4 seconds. Don’t try to put your tongue in her mouth on your first kiss, since that can come off as a little aggressive or awkward. When you’re done, pull back gently and check her body language. If she pulls away, that probably means she’s done kissing for now. But if she stays close or leans in again, she may be ready for another kiss. You can always make sure by saying something like, “That was wonderful—can I kiss you again?” As you get more comfortable kissing her, experiment with different styles of kissing. For example, you might try kissing her cheek or neck, lifting her off the ground or dipping her for an ultra-romantic kiss, or gently French kissing her if you’re both ready to take things to the next level. For more tips from our Dating co-author, including how to experiment with different styles of kissing, keep reading!