😘🤑😧 This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
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😘🤑😧 She's sweet and beautiful, and you're finally clicking. Is it time for a kiss? If you've never kissed her before, or have never kissed anyone at all, it can be a bit intimidating. But don't worry -- it's not as difficult as it seems! When kissing a girl for the first time, set the mood by flirting and waiting for a cozy moment, and when you both seem ready, gradually lean in until your closed lips meet hers. A little passion is fine, but your first kiss together should generally convey tenderness first and foremost.
Part 1Part 1 of 3:Setting Up for Success
- 1Practice! The best way to be more comfortable and better at kissing is to practice first. It seems like obvious advice but it really does help. You can practice on your hand, with another object, or with another person.
- Keep in mind, you might not want to kiss another person because if you are already attached to the girl you want to kiss or kiss her really soon after and she finds out, she might be upset.
- 2Make sure you have good breath! The girl doesn't want to taste garlic or other icky flavors after the kiss, as this can be a major turn off. Before the date or when you see her, brush your teeth and tongue and use mouth wash! To maintain good breath try drinking water on the date instead of soft drinks. You can also suck on a mint or chew minty gum for a few minutes midway through the date.XResearch source
- If you are at a restaurant, bring along your favorite breath freshener. Excuse yourself after dinner and go to the bathroom. Freshen your breath and then, to make sure your breath smells good, hold your hand up to your face, breathe, and smell.
- 3Flirt a little! This can help set the mood. Tell her that what she is wearing looks pretty; she will appreciate it! If she playfully punches you a lot or teases you in a friendly manner, then she wants you to touch her.XExpert SourceLaura Bilotta
Dating Coach & MatchmakerExpert Interview. 4 March 2020. Stay in safe territory like quickly grabbing her hand when you want to go show her something; she will appreciate not having to do the whole awkward looking at each other and blushing thing.XResearch source
- If you are brave you could put your arm around her waist when you two are laughing and say something playful like "You're so cute!"
- Offer to give her a piggyback ride, or tickle her a little if she likes it. Don't do this constantly, and when you do it, do it respectfully. Don't grab her breasts or butt.
- Flirting will make her more open to kissing you. Think of kissing as reaching the top of a mountain. You have to hike a little to get to the top.
- 4Time it right. Getting good timing will make it a lot easier. A good time for a kiss is at the end of a date, when you're generally saying goodbye, when you're out for a walk, or after you've just finished watching a movie. You'll notice that all of these times are pretty private and should pretty much just be the two of you. This is important! You should choose a private time for a first kiss.XResearch sourceXResearch source
- The kiss should stay private too. Don't kiss and tell. This is rude.
- 5Ask! It seems weird because we're only used to seeing the super charming people in movies kissing, but asking a girl if you can kiss her is a great way to show her that you respect her and care about her feelings. She'll appreciate it!XResearch source
- You can say something like: "I really want to kiss you right now. Is that okay?" or "Do you want me to kiss you now?"
Part 2Part 2 of 3:Nailing the Technique
- 1Move your face slowly toward hers.XExpert SourceLaura Bilotta
Dating Coach & MatchmakerExpert Interview. 4 March 2020. This is a universal signal that you're moving in for a kiss. This gives her the option to let you know that she's uncomfortable and will help keep you from getting slapped. Don't close your eyes until you are just about to kiss her.
- 2Try a simple close-mouthed kiss. Don't use tongue the first time you kiss a girl. Make sure you close your eyes right before you start the kiss.
- 3Tilt your head. Move in sideways a little. If your head is just as upright as her, you'll bump your nose into her nose instead of your lips into her lips.XResearch source
- 4Move slowly and follow her lead. If she's a deep, passionate kisser, she'll hold your lips in hers for a long while; you won't need to move your lips much.
- 5Use your hands. If you want, cup her face with your hand and slowly stroke her cheek with your thumb. Make sure you still have one arm firm around her waist or lower back.XResearch source
- 6Be tender and loving. Kissing is like a silent conversation: You want to be kind, gentle, forgiving, and you want the other person to keep coming back for more!
- 7Breathe. You'd be surprised how many people forget to breathe when they aren't used to kissing! If you want to keep kissing her but you're having trouble finding a break to breathe, try moving away from kissing her mouth to kiss her cheek or forehead.XResearch source
- 8Stop when you're ready. Slowly pull away after a few seconds (or minutes!) and open your eyes. Congratulations! Each kiss after the first one is so much easier. You've reached the top of the mountain.
Part 3Part 3 of 3:Becoming a Pro
- 1Learn to French kiss. This is the next big skill for kissers to learn. It's not as hard as it seems and, with practice, it can be a killer addition to you kissing arsenal.
- 2Learn to make out. Making out seems tough at first, especially if you both have trouble finding your rhythm, but it will get way easier with time. Just make sure to not overdo it and always keep things interesting.
- 5Learn to kiss with braces. If this is your first kiss, then there's a good chance you also have braces. Don't worry! Despite all the jokes in movies and TV shows, it's not all that tough to kiss with braces.
Community Q&A Did you know you can get expert answers for this article?Unlock expert answers by supporting wikiHow
- QuestionWhen should I go in for a kiss if it's my first time?Laura BilottaLaura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of date coaching experience, Laura specializes in dating etiquette, relationships, and human behavior. She is the host of the Dating and Relationship Radio Talk Show on AM640 and on Apple Podcasts. She is also the author of "Single in the City: From Hookups & Heartbreaks To Love & Lifemates, Tales & Tips To Attract Your Perfect Match."
Dating Coach & MatchmakerDating Coach & MatchmakerExpert Answer
- Keep sane while kissing and after kissing, you will most likely be under pressure when you have your first kiss. Don't freak out.
- Don't push it. If she wants to stop but you want to keep kissing her, respect her feelings and try again some other time.
- Do not have chapped lips, scrub them with a bit of sugar to get the dead skin off.
- Right before your lips touch, swallow excess spit and lightly lick your lips to make them moist. Don't make it too noticeable though or she'll feel weird.
- Don't get discouraged if she does not kiss you- she might just be under pressure and not ready for it.
- Some girls will feel VERY awkward if you ask to kiss her, if the time is right and she is initiating that she wants to kiss just go for it!
- A kiss can say a lot about the relationship, so be careful. Do not kiss someone if you do not mean it.
- She might not always want the pressure, so it's okay if she doesn't want to kiss you. However, if she wants to kiss, go ahead!
- To deepen the kiss try placing a hand on the back of her neck, on her waist, or on her cheek. Once you have position try lightly and slowly pulling her closer
- A good way to tell if your breath smells bad is to lightly lick your wrist or hand, it definitely works better than beating into cupped hands. (you might not want to do this in front of anyone though.).
- ↑Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
- ↑Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
About This Article
Before kissing a girl for the first time, take some time to get to know her and make sure she’s okay with it. Try flirting with her, complimenting her, or even giving her some light touches on her arm or shoulder, and check how she responds. If she laughs and smiles a lot, flirts back, or leans in close when you’re talking to her, then there’s a good chance she’s interested. It’s also a good idea to wait for the right moment before making your move. Try to choose a time when you’re both relaxed and in a good mood, like at the end of a fun date. If you feel like the time is right, ask her if it’s okay to kiss her. Say something like, “I really want to kiss you right now. Is that okay?” If she says yes, slowly bring your face close to hers, then close your eyes right before your lips touch. Tilt your head to one side slightly so your nose doesn’t bump into hers. If you want, you can also gently cup her face with your hand. Keep your lips relaxed and slightly parted, then gently press your lips against hers. After a few seconds, slowly pull away and open your eyes to end the kiss. Or, if she seems really into it, you can keep the kiss going longer. Just don’t forget to breathe through your nose while you hold the kiss. To learn how to take a breathe while kissing, keep reading!